I’m not entirely sure where to start with this review. Firstly, let me clarify, I loved the TV show. I even shed a tear on the final episode. I loved the TV show because not only was it original, it was fresh, funky, funny, sexy, well written, smart and sassy. So don’t even bother going “Your a man, what would you know about SATC”. The original movie was a cash in, full of product placement and not much else. It was an entirely watered down version of the TV show, with nothing that made the TV show great! But as for the sequel, well..it makes the original movie look like it should have won an Oscar for Best Picture.
I’d like to write about the story for SATC 2 and what our ladies get up to, but I’m afraid I can’t type that much, because there’s not much to tell. In between Stanford getting married, they go to Abu Dhabi at the invitation of a Sheik and that's kind of it really as they realise their lives of marriage, motherhood and potions and lotions are just a big pile of rubbish. So a week in Abu Dhabi, which actually is Morocco, because the wise folks in Abu Dhabi (and incidentally Dubai) wouldn’t let them film there, is just what the badly written script ordered. They wander around “Morocco Dhabi” on camels, lazing by the pool, having food and drinks and Carrie runs into her old flame, Aidan in a souk. There’s a big moral dilemma involved with that (well its so small, you’d need a microscope to see it), and that's the story, if you could call it a story.
You see, SATC 2 doesn’t really have a story. It’s more like a large number of incredibly disjointed, unconnected scenes just flung together in the hopes that it will make a shit load of money. And in these disjointed scenes, Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha bumble their way through some of the worst dialogue ever committed to film. And the real kicker is, they look like they know its bad dialogue, but couldn’t give a toss either way. They got the pay check. And speaking of how they look, they also look like they could, at any minute, pick up knives and kill each other. The chemistry, that was so unique has long gone and there is a tension surrounding the four ladies that hasn’t been seen outside of a prison yard. The rumours of bitching and what not on set, has certainly transcended onto the big screen. The only people who look like they made an effort are Cynthia Nixon and Chris Noth, but not even they can pull it back!
The one thing that really, truly surprised me, is that this group of gals all hail from one of the most tolerant, diverse, multi cultural cities in the world. But, yet they shit all over the Muslim world by taking pops at the traditional Arab dress and completely sticking 2 fingers up to the traditional ways of the middle east. Shoulders exposed, public displays of affection and the incident in the airport with Samantha, all show a complete disregard for the country they are trying to portray. It’s actually almost unbelievable. If this were a real life situation in the UAE they would have been beheaded! I never thought I’d come at this from the moral high ground, but its quite easy to see why this movie is likely to be banned in the UAE and its even easier to see why it was not allowed to be filmed there. This movie is the kinda thing that will have the crazed fundamentalists strapping on the explosives!
SATC 2 is one of the worst movies to be released in years. Michael Patrick King should hang his head in shame with this piece of drivel that he has directed and written. It has nothing, and I do mean NOTHING going for it! There is NO story, NO funny parts whatsoever and as for the fashion, well even that is gone by the wayside. It’s so bad, there’s only 2 pair of shoes in the whole thing!
For the people, who no doubt will flock to see this anyway, prepare for disappointment, because there is quite alot of it! And the real disappointment is that the film makers must think you nice people must be real idiots to be suckered into this cringetastic film! If anything, the SATC 2 has completely undone the amazing work that went into the TV show and completely and utterly ruined what has gone before it. I would rather be constantly bitten by a group of venomous snakes than endure this again! The fans, have my sympathy. For anyone that actually thinks this is good, I wonder, how did you get into the cinema with your straight jacket on!
Now as for a rating, SATC 2 gets 1 Star. And that 1 star is for the poor person who had to type in the end credits, because that is actually the best part of the movie!
