It's a testament to how bad a film is when even though the audience is totally silent and the screening itself is going swimmingly, the film cannot hold your attention for more than 60 seconds at a time. And unfortunately that pretty much sums up my experience with London Boulevard. It isn't a terribly awful, rip-your-eyes-out type flick, but it's likely the most tedious, overblown film you'll see this year.
London Boulevard stars Colin Farrell as a recently released inmate, arriving on the stylish London scene after a long stint in prison for an unknown crime. After a few days, Farrell's character, Mitchell takes a job as a security guard for a famous big-screen actress, Charlotte (played by Keira Knightley). Not long after he begins his new career protecting the starlet, a local crime kingpin comes knocking on Mitchell's door bringing a whole new world of trouble his way. Right, so you know the plot. I too knew this going in to London Boulevard, but for the life of me, after the first 25 minutes, I couldn't make sense of all the cockney rambling going on. Every character's dialogue is laced with bad word after another, to the point where I thought to myself, "hold on, whose a c*** now?". It really does get that confusing. On top of this, the structure of the story is all over the place, leading to a messy beginning, middle and end.
The performances range from mediocre (Knightley) to impressive (Farrell) to baffling (Anna Friel). Ray Winstone turns in a decent villainous role as the crime boss up against our lead, but then how many times have we seen Winstone play the hardened cockney lad? Hmm...let's count; The Departed, .44 Inch Chest, Sexy Beast. That's not to knock the man completely, but his character feels a bit too familiar. But giving credit where credit is due, there is a standout scene involving Farrell and Winstone chatting over dinner about becoming a gangster in London.
If you've seen the poster for London Boulevard, right above the title card it sneakily drops the credit; from the Academy Award winning writer of The Departed. Do not let this fool you, as this is nowhere close to the quality of The Departed. As it's the director's (William Monaghan) debut feature, I should cut him some slack for the mess he's made, but I can't. It's probably not all his fault, after all, the advertising campaign for the flick was fantastic. London Boulevard looked like a cool, sexy and very much British gangster film...but it's more of a lame, craptacular cliche. There was a point to which the film could have come back from and redeemed itself, but it crosses that bridge early on and from that point on it's all checking your phone, watch and the person beside you. The flick has a cool, retro London rock soundtrack thats used in nearly every scene (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't) but overall it's just wasted on the material.
With some good performances and a thumping soundtrack, London Boulevard could have been an entertaining night in the cinema. But terrible writing, boring and ridiculous scenarios and a faux tough-as-nails attitude make it a massive missed opportunity.
London Boulevard stars Colin Farrell as a recently released inmate, arriving on the stylish London scene after a long stint in prison for an unknown crime. After a few days, Farrell's character, Mitchell takes a job as a security guard for a famous big-screen actress, Charlotte (played by Keira Knightley). Not long after he begins his new career protecting the starlet, a local crime kingpin comes knocking on Mitchell's door bringing a whole new world of trouble his way. Right, so you know the plot. I too knew this going in to London Boulevard, but for the life of me, after the first 25 minutes, I couldn't make sense of all the cockney rambling going on. Every character's dialogue is laced with bad word after another, to the point where I thought to myself, "hold on, whose a c*** now?". It really does get that confusing. On top of this, the structure of the story is all over the place, leading to a messy beginning, middle and end.
The performances range from mediocre (Knightley) to impressive (Farrell) to baffling (Anna Friel). Ray Winstone turns in a decent villainous role as the crime boss up against our lead, but then how many times have we seen Winstone play the hardened cockney lad? Hmm...let's count; The Departed, .44 Inch Chest, Sexy Beast. That's not to knock the man completely, but his character feels a bit too familiar. But giving credit where credit is due, there is a standout scene involving Farrell and Winstone chatting over dinner about becoming a gangster in London.
If you've seen the poster for London Boulevard, right above the title card it sneakily drops the credit; from the Academy Award winning writer of The Departed. Do not let this fool you, as this is nowhere close to the quality of The Departed. As it's the director's (William Monaghan) debut feature, I should cut him some slack for the mess he's made, but I can't. It's probably not all his fault, after all, the advertising campaign for the flick was fantastic. London Boulevard looked like a cool, sexy and very much British gangster film...but it's more of a lame, craptacular cliche. There was a point to which the film could have come back from and redeemed itself, but it crosses that bridge early on and from that point on it's all checking your phone, watch and the person beside you. The flick has a cool, retro London rock soundtrack thats used in nearly every scene (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't) but overall it's just wasted on the material.
With some good performances and a thumping soundtrack, London Boulevard could have been an entertaining night in the cinema. But terrible writing, boring and ridiculous scenarios and a faux tough-as-nails attitude make it a massive missed opportunity.
