I was an 80’s kid and that meant you grew up with the likes of Sly Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis. These guys were my idols as a child and in some regards, still are. They made fool proof movies. Movies that were big, action no brainers. My love of action flicks, I’m sure like many, has been born due to the Planet Hollywood three-sum. So you can imagine the excitement when it was announced Stallone was getting the 3 of them together for a big action flick, called The Expendables. And not only that, some of the more present day bad-asses were coming along for the ride as well. Namely Jet-Li, Jason Statham, Steve Austin, Randy Couture combined with some more legends including Mickey Rourke and Dolph Lundgren. This is the kind of thing you would dream about as a kid! Christ, even thinking about it now, it almost like a licence to print money!
The Expendables are a group of mercenaries who basically go around kicking ass for a few quid, as you do. And their next job is to assassinate a bad ass dictator of a small island in South America. As these things go, the best idea is to scout out the island first, so Sly and the Stat go off and do exactly that. They meet up with a local rebel called Sandra and find out what really is going on in the place. They figure no money is worth the job so they escape but Sandra chooses to stay behind. From here, Barney Ross (Sly) finds his conscious and decides to go thundering off to rescue that rebel called Sandra. And of course the gang all go along for the ride!
I so, so wanted to love this movie. My heroes are all here, but tragically it doesn’t come together. Firstly, and it would be naive to think otherwise, Bruce and Arnie are in one scene and that scene itself, with Sly, is quite short. And no, they don’t shoot anyone! That said, the chemistry is there and it is rather funny. And for me, that’s one of the few funny parts, in a movie that tries so very hard to crack you up. But, it doesn’t work all the time, and when it does work, with the funny, it is rather forced and lacklustre. Most of the dialogue scenes are long, tedious and drawn out and only go to fill the gaps between the action scenes. I actually started fiddling with my phone due to boredom setting in during these scenes.
But, credit where it’s due, Stallone knows action. The action scene’s are brilliantly shot and are incredibly tight and adrenaline fuelled. A helluva alot of the budget went on explosions as gigantic fireballs fill the screen time after time, which is a nice throwback to the 80’s action movies. See can you spot the Rocky style sprint!! But the set pieces, while great, are not enough to hold this whole thing together.
The chemistry between the cast, is average at best and again Sly, Arnie and Bruce are the ones that only seem to connect 100%. And with such a large cast, something has got to give. And that is all are under utilised and don’t have enough time to develop or provide some proper laughs. So you’d think if they don’t have enough individual time, then the pacing must be super tight? Nope, it drags out unfortunately. A smaller cast might have been a better idea as it would have tightened the whole thing up.
I can’t understand how this went wrong, I really can’t! This should be a huge 5 star no brainer, but it’s not. It seems all over the place at times, not knowing whether it should be an 18 flick or a 15’s. It’s rated 15’s and the level of gore shows this, as compared to Rambo (IV) it’s notched wayyyyy down. Personally I feel they should have went all out, and done an 18’s flick, after all most of these stars have spent years making movies for the adult audience.
The Expendables, while not a terrible movie, is not the epic movie it could have been. While the action scenes entertain and the occasional one liner brings a smile or 2, overall this is a missed opportunity!
