One wonders if one would ever get sick of looking at Angelina Jolie’s arse? Particularly when it spends most of its time wrapped in figure hugging dresses and other lady garments. It’s not so much a sickness that come over me staring at one of numerous from the rear Angie shots, but more so a tiredness. If there is one saving grace of this movie, it’s Jolie’s arse but you will miss out on a fair whack of it, due to the sleep induced coma that you will slip into!
Angie plays Elise, who is swapping bodily fluids with a bloke that has stolen a few quid, so much so that Interpol and most of the police force’s want to have a chat with him. So, on her morning stroll for a coffee she get’s delivered a letter which is from the bloke she hasn’t seen in a while, but longs to have his babies. This particular letter instructs her to find some bloke that looks like her bloke (similar height etc) and go to Venice on a train. Once she find’s a bit of a doppelganger, this in turn will confuse the cops and everybody wins…except the cops. Besides the cops hunting down Frank (Depp) there’s also some bad guys who want to get their money bank, that the real doppelganger (what?) stole from them in the first place.
Occasionally, there’s a chase or two with the even more occasional bullet fired out of a gun. Firstly, Jolie is a very far removed from the award winning Jolie we all know andmasturb sorry…love. Her performance is flat and bland and show’s about as much range as an empty fuel tank. Her only saving grace is her arse, which will excite the blokes and the lesbians, but most will have fallen asleep to enjoy it and its the only thing, that is remotely enjoyable about this pile of junk. Here’s what I don’t understand, this movie has 2 of the better looking people in the world and credit where it’s due, both can actually act, and this leads me to Mr.Depp. I’m a huge Johnny Depp fan, but in this movie his performance is contrived and he seems very uncomfortable on screen as this bumbling mathematician, and seems particularly awkward during the, predictable love scenes. And whoever is responsible for his look in The Tourist, needs to be taken away and beaten with an entire gondola. As talented as Johnny Depp is, this, to me at least, isn’t his sort of movie. He’s not the action star that Tom Cruise is and again, this adds to the disaster he is on screen.
Ok, Venice looks fine and some of the cinematography is quite beautiful, but I’ll stick to postcards or some random Flickr account if I want to see Venice. Christ, I might even go there if I was that desperate. The Tourist at times, actually alot of the time tries to be many things. One minute it’s a classic crime caper (complete with classical style soundtrack which will make mincemeat of your ears) and other times it tries to be an action movie and all of the time it fails. The only good things about The Tourist are Paul Bettany and Timothy Dalton who put in a pretty good performance, but you will more than likely be asleep for it as the pacing in this thing seems to be written in quick sand. And as for the ending, if you haven’t figured it out by now, you never will!
This movie to me, besides delivering a big pay cheque to it’s stars is utterly pointless and sleep inducing. On a final point, Venice is a city that’s sinking, but unlike the Tourist, it’s head is still above water! Avoid!
Angie plays Elise, who is swapping bodily fluids with a bloke that has stolen a few quid, so much so that Interpol and most of the police force’s want to have a chat with him. So, on her morning stroll for a coffee she get’s delivered a letter which is from the bloke she hasn’t seen in a while, but longs to have his babies. This particular letter instructs her to find some bloke that looks like her bloke (similar height etc) and go to Venice on a train. Once she find’s a bit of a doppelganger, this in turn will confuse the cops and everybody wins…except the cops. Besides the cops hunting down Frank (Depp) there’s also some bad guys who want to get their money bank, that the real doppelganger (what?) stole from them in the first place.
Occasionally, there’s a chase or two with the even more occasional bullet fired out of a gun. Firstly, Jolie is a very far removed from the award winning Jolie we all know and
Ok, Venice looks fine and some of the cinematography is quite beautiful, but I’ll stick to postcards or some random Flickr account if I want to see Venice. Christ, I might even go there if I was that desperate. The Tourist at times, actually alot of the time tries to be many things. One minute it’s a classic crime caper (complete with classical style soundtrack which will make mincemeat of your ears) and other times it tries to be an action movie and all of the time it fails. The only good things about The Tourist are Paul Bettany and Timothy Dalton who put in a pretty good performance, but you will more than likely be asleep for it as the pacing in this thing seems to be written in quick sand. And as for the ending, if you haven’t figured it out by now, you never will!
This movie to me, besides delivering a big pay cheque to it’s stars is utterly pointless and sleep inducing. On a final point, Venice is a city that’s sinking, but unlike the Tourist, it’s head is still above water! Avoid!
