Back in 1931, Milton Bradley started manufacturing a game called “Battleship”. No doubt you’re all familiar with the premise. Take turns in sinking each others Battleships…and so on. And while the game was great in short bursts for many people, a movie that runs for 131 minutes, based on a board game, surely thats not going to raise too many masts?
Taylor Kitsch ends up in the navy after one too many run ins with the law. His brother (Alexander Skarsgård) signs him up and before you know it, a bunch of navel fleets from around the world, partake in Rimpac (Rim of the Pacific Exercise, which is the world's largest international maritime exercise). A bunch of incredibly large alien ships crash into the ocean and attempt to signal back (after losing their communication ship) to their home planet to get the rest of the alien cavalry to come to earth, and unleash death and destruction. Thankfully the navy are there, but are trapped in some weird alien force field, which has blocked all contact and doesn’t allow them to escape. Thankfully, again, Taylor Kitsch is there and fights back, as he tries to save the world.
The story is absolutely ludicrous and entirely unbelievable. Then again, what were you expecting, a true story? If you want to see shit blow up and an incredible flexing of Naval muscle, this is for you. More stuff blows up here than in the last few Michael Bay movies. It’s non stop explosions, as Destroyers and Battleships are torn apart by ruthless alien invaders. And as the navy fights back, more stuff….yes…gets…blown…up. BOOM! The shredders in particular are all kinds of awesome, leaving nothing in one piece as they tear through everything from choppers to buildings, like giant buzz saws. All of these action set pieces (of which there are many) are quite jaw dropping at times, and visually are a sight to behold.
With so much action going on, there’s not much room for our characters to do much acting. Taylor Kitsch is very likeable and has a great presence about him (as usual) and Liam Neeson is incredibly underused and doesn’t break much of a sweat here, but he is watchable none the less. That said, he’s not believable as an Admiral in any capacity. Much has been made about Rihanna, who makes her big screen / acting debut here. And while she doesn’t have much dialogue and remains fully clothed, she’s easy on the eye, but doesn’t exactly set the screen alight either. At times she sticks out like a sore thumb, and like Neeson doesn’t exactly looks like she fits in. But as debuts go, it’s not bad.
Where the movie falls down is in the middle. It starts off well and stuff blows up, but the alien interactions and drama on the island and too far fetched for a movie that is too far fetched anyway, and unfortunately these scenes drag the whole thing down and could have easily been cut out, thus making a far tighter movie. And the references to Battleship the board game, while clever, are a bit too obvious and cheesy.Granted, when AC/DC start up on the soundtrack, and the finale kicks off, it’s hard not to get excited. As for the finale itself, the whole thing is over rather far too quickly and comes to an abrupt ending, which seems rushed OR cut, and given it’s 2 hour + running time, its a bit of a let down.
Overall though, Battleship is a gigantic popcorn movie, that will wow the younger audiences and keep action junkies relatively happy. Take this for what it is, and you can’t go too wrong. Just leave your brain back at port!
