Yesterday was a big day for our American friends, flocking en masse to the polling stations to decide who will lead their country for the next four years. As always, major events in the world make me turn to movies, and below we have who I think best portrayed the Commander In Chief on the big screen.
President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew
Herbert Camacho – Idiocracy
Idiocracy paints a horrifying, and hilarious,
picture of a future where IQ's have plummeted and reality television
rules the airwaves. America is on the brink of starvation, but
thankfully President (also Five Time Ultimate Smackdown Champion
and porn superstar) Camacho has a foolproof plan: let someone else
deal with the problem. A true showman, when he walks into The House
Of Representin', people listen. Mainly because he's packing a machine
gun.
President Thomas J. Whitmore –
Independance Day
Faced with natural disasters, most
Presidents rally the troops, co-ordinating relief efforts and
delegating agaencies to deal with the problem from the safety of The
White House. But what if the disaster isn't quite that natural, and
The White House has bee destroyed in a spectatcular fireball? I would
like to think they would do what Thomas Whitmore did, and lead the
attack against a fleet of alien invaders after delivering the
cheesiest, and most inspiring, speech ever. We don't know what
happened after the movie ended, but if he didn't get four more years,
there is something seriously wrong.
President Tom Beck – Deep Impact
Most president's have to make tough
decisions, but deciding what to do when an earth destroying asteroid
is closing in? Now, thats a doozy. Hats off to President Beck, who
kept his composure, and approval rating above 60%, when making the
tough decision of a lottery that would only grant 800,000 Americans a
space in special underground bunkers. The fact that he has the most
soothing voice in the world might have calmed those who weren't
selected. Maybe.
President Thomas “Tug” Benson –
Hot Shots! Part Deux
It's unknown how an Admiral in the U.S.
Navy progressed to the role of Commander In Chief in two short years,
especially since he was grossly inept, and suffered from severe
shellshock. But “Tug” Benson is a President who isn't afraid to
take matters into his own hands, bringing the fight to Saddam
Hussien, and is pretty handy with a lightsaber to boot.
President James Marshall – Air Force
One
Most president's don't negotiate with
terrorists, but James Marshall took it one step further, picking off,
one by one, the armed thugs who made the mistake of trying to take
over his plane. He is an inspiration to us all, proving one man can
make a difference. The fact he was actually Harrison Ford probably
helped matters a great deal.
