I’m pretty immune to trolls. Besides the trolls that lurk under The Movie Bit bridge, I’ve dealt with plenty on the radio over the last 15 years. You develop a thick skin and rather quickly build an internal ignore button (that also causes you to yawn). And while you can make the point that my ignore button isn’t working for the following piece, I still feel that this needs to be addressed. And yes, I know, I know. Don’t feed the trolls. Well, choke on this!
Recently, in the Irish Times, a 428 word review of Michael Bay’s Transformers 4 appeared. Now I’m not here to criticise the “writing” but I do take issue with a film review that isn’t a film review and instead serves as nothing but click bait and agenda driving drivel. With a headline that reads “Transformers: Age of Extinction review: Think rape culture is a myth? Think again” and a sign off that says “To those who say rape culture is a myth, we say “Behold, Transformers 4” you are inclined to wonder, “Is this a review?” after all it says the word “review” in the title. Reading this “review” people may also wonder why the reviewer would make a reference to convicted child abuser Rolf Harris, or speak about a “shot” emanating from between the legs of a 17 year old female character. And all that in the opening few sentences, about a movie that is based on a series of well loved toys. You’d have to be a Kardashian to realise that a “review” like that is nothing but click bait.
Now I’m not here to defend Michael Bay. He’s a big boy and well able to defend himself. Plus he’s got access to millions of tonnes of TNT. But film criticism is about critiquing films. Surely that’s what people read movie reviews for. Isn’t it? You wouldn’t expect a lasagne recipe in the sporting pages? If you want social commentary then you’d go to the relevant section of a website, newspaper etc. If you feel strongly enough about Michael Bay and his “rape culture” peddling, then by all means write about it, instead of a click baiting headline and an outro that, quite frankly is just laughable. But write about it somewhere else. Maybe in that aforementioned social commentary section. Or a political column. Or somewhere where it’s actually relevant. People will click on that too!
Readers require honest reviews about THE FILM. They don’t care about your beliefs or agendas. You are a film a critic. Critique the goddamn film. Maybe movies made for teenage boys aren’t your thing. That’s fine. Then don’t be film critic. You have to take the good with the bad and the Adam Sandlers with the Michael Fassbenders. It’s FILM CRITICISM, and that encompasses all types of film. Even Bay’s latest bore-fest. But, again, I’m close on repeating myself here, the relevance of using the words“rape culture” in a film review is what? How is that relevant? What is the point? Does it even have a point? Nope. Not even a blunt one.
Was there a similar social outcry when the Sex And The City movies arrived on the big screen? Where woman all over Ireland and around the world turned up in full party mode to cinemas. Leaving behind in their wake, enough empty miniature wine bottles to start a small recycling plant. That was ok was it? Getting half shit faced in a cinema and stumbling into a pub or club afterwards? Or where well, oiled and chiselled muscle bound men flounced around the screen? That was ok was it? Oh sorry, I forgot, that was empowering to women?
You type of people make me sick to my stomach. Thinking you are so high and mighty. Devouring up online comments without realising people think you are a complete and utter idiot. But good job on insulting rape victims. They’ll be thrilled at your non-existent stance and exploiting them for a couple of shitty mouse clicks.
If you want to be a social commentator, don’t be a film critic! If you want to drive your agendas, don’t be a film critic. If you love film, be a film critic. Be an online one. Write for a national newspaper. Write for a supermarket rag. Record a podcast. Just do it. Otherwise, take you’re pretentious, self righteous, agenda driving, sensationalist click bating drivel and shove it where Michael Bay can get another emanating shot from! YAWN!
