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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Review

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The original Heroes in a Half Shell are back, and courtesy of Nickelodeon Movies and Michael Bay's Platnium Dunes, they all look like The Rock painted himself green and put on a back pack. The Turtles have a whole spectrum of fans, from enthusiasts of the original Eastman and Laird comic books, to devotees of the 90's cartoon (where most of the love comes from) to the much younger followers of the version currently showing on Nickelodeon. But it seems no matter which incarnation is your favourite there was a common issue that had fans up in arms, the new bulked up look, which had many viewing this version as a blot on the property's legacy before it even hit cinemas. I for one don't agree with this, since the amount of reboots and different versions of the Turtles that have come and gone on the small screen, big screen, and comic book pages point to reinvention and rebirth being an important part of this franchises longevity. So with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles finally hitting Irish shores this weekend, what do these new versions of Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo have in store for us?


Lets deal with the gigantic, green, muscle bound elephant in the room first and talk about the Turtles themselves. Brought to life using motion capture, the four brothers are visually amazing, each Turtle chockful of detail, from the New York Yankees badge adorning Leo's weapons belt or the sunglasses that are constantly perched on top of Raph's head. They move with a fluidity you wouldn't expect from their huge frames, and no fault can be found in the visual effects from Industrial Light and Magic. Sure, there is no real reason given for the huge departure in the look that has been pretty much unchanged since the characters first appeared in 1984, but their look here works. The characterisations are spot on, very reminiscent of the 90's version, and there is a hell of a lot of fun to be had with the banter between the Turtles. Being four computer generated characters, there is a surprising chemistry between them (an impromptu rap session in an elevator proves to be the Turtles at their best), and they all get a chance to shine, with Michelangelo (voiced by Noel Fisher) providing the biggest laughs, though his obsession with Megan Fox's April O'Neil is a bit much at times.

Unfortunately, once we get away from the Turtles, cracks begin to show in the movies foundations, but thankfully not enough for the whole project to fall apart. The story hangs limply between the set pieces, and even at a slim 101 minutes, the movie feels like a slog to get through at times, especially when it slows down with a voice over from Tony Shaloub's Splinter explaining the Turtles' mission and origins. Twice. The new origin, which sees the Turtles the product of an experiment conducted by O'Neil's father that was secretly a front for a deadly plan masterminded by their nemesis, The Shredder (Tohuro Masamune, for what seems like only five minutes, before he is replaced by a gigantic, effects heavy mecha Shredder), and his industrialist lackey Eric Sacks (William Fichtner), is far too bloated, and goes to some pretty laughable places at times. The narrative also suffers, feeling far too stretched out and inconsequential. Once it hits the mid way point, it's like a break neck race to get to the finish line, the finale feeling far too rushed. The human characters also feel underdeveloped, with Fox being an absolute charisma vacuum, and Fichtner wasted in the villain's henchman role. Only Will Arnett, as O'Neil's cameraman Vern, makes any sort of impression for the humans.


There is still a lot of fun to be had here, as director Jonathan Liebesman delivers some fantastic set pieces. The highlight is the second act escape from Sacks' (inexplicably, since it supposed to be half an hour away from New York City) mountain compound, an extended chase that sees the Turtles take out a convoy of trucks as they tumble down a snowy mountain, quipping all the way. It does feel like Liebesman played his hand way too early as the final fight between the foursome and Shredder comes nowhere near close to even touching it.

It does have its fair share of problems, sure, but this reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a hell of a lot of fun, helped immensely by the lead digital foursome. No doubt, the kids, both big and small, in the audience will be shouting "cowabunga!".






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The Movie Bit: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Review
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Review
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