Where there is good, there must always be bad. Yesterday, we brought you what we were the best movies of 2016, and now we must dive into the dregs of the year that was to present to you what The Movie Bit considers the worst movies the year had to offer. Warning, it gets really bad.
Vic’s Picks
Tom’s Picks
Grimsby - Sacha Baron Cohen is a funny guy, and has been responsible for some pretty funny creations down the years. Football yob Nobby Butcher is not one of them, and the movie that is wrapped around this one note character tripping into the world of espionage is hands down the worst movie he has ever headlined. Crammed to the gills with disgusting ‘humour’ instead of an actual plot, it’s biggest crime is wasting the always fantastic Mark Strong, who is probably already considering the scene where he is rammed in the face by an elephant as the low point of his career.
The Do-Over - The second of Adam Sandler’s four Netflix exclusive movies, and the actor already finds himself on my worst of the year list two years running. Teaming up once again with David Spade, this movie features everything we’ve come to hate about Sandler: tired jokes that run the gamut from racist to homophobic, a plot with no rhyme and reason, and that ever growing feeling that he just made the movie to go on vacation to a sunny location.
Gods of Egypt - Alex Proyas’ fall from grace is one that hurts me personally, having grown up on The Crow and Dark City, two moves I consider masterpieces. Gods of Egypt is anything but, an over stuffed, candy coated CGI monstrosity that makes no secret of what an incoherent, hollow mess it is from the opening frame.
Ben-Hur - Why? That’s all I ask. Why?
Bad Santa 2 - Just another example of why belated sequels are a bad idea. Bad Santa was a great movie thirteen years ago, but just trying to rehash the exact same plot and adding extra scenes of outdoor sex in an attempt to appear ‘edgy’ was never going to cut it.
Martin’s Picks
Collateral Beauty – Cloying, overly earnest muck that tries and fails to say something profound about grief. This ill-conceived, high-concept dramedy is rife with clumsy editing, poor turns from a usually reliable cast and a condescending script packed full of narrative missteps.
The Magnificent Seven – With Chris Pratt, Denzel Washington and cast of choice talent on board, this had some serious potential. Unfortunately, Antoine Fuqua turned the Western classic into a big dumb action movie without all the big dumb fun that sort of thing requires.
Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice – So terrible on so many levels. Affleck was actually quite good as the Caped Crusader but this was overall such a bitterly disappointing return after Nolan’s trilogy. Overlong, messy and downright bizarre.
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back – The first Jack Reacher was a surprisingly fun action thriller where Tom Cruise used a man’s head to bash in another man’s head. This one wasn’t.
31 – I love Rob Zombie’s music and find his movies a bit of a guilty pleasure, so I made every effort to enjoy this. 31, however, is just a big, heaving, sluggish mass of everything we’ve seen in Zombie’s previous work, executed terribly. Pretty much unwatchable, bar some nice n’ gory practical effects.
Vic’s Picks
Jack Reacher Never Go Back - In all the years we're compiling these lists, not once did I ever think that a Tom Cruise movie would show up here. But given that Jack Reacher Never Go Back is a steaming pile of dog shit, it's well deserved. For me this is the worst movie of the year by a long shot. Cruise is woeful. Doesn't break a sweat and looks completely not into the movie. It seems like nothing but 90 odd minutes of close up shots of Cruise doing weird head movements and grimaces. And I'm a huge Tom Cruise fan and I loved the original Jack Reacher so this was a super special punch to the balls!
Suicide Squad - Maybe there is a great version of Suicide Squad out there, locked away in some deep cavern in the bowels of Warner Bros. Either way, the version that hit cinemas, while promised so much, was nothing but another abysmal attempt by Warner and DC in the comic book franchises. Will Smith was good, Margot Robbie was hot (and good) but that aside it failed to do anything above average and ploughed through dragged out scene after dragged out scene. I actually nodded off during it.
Independence Day Resurgence - A crock of shit. End of. While it was great to see parts of Dubai rain down in London, Emmerich's feeble attempt to get some cash together was nothing but that. A cash in and a poor one at that. Watch the trailer for the best parts.
Warcraft - Looked great and Duncan Jones is the man! But even he admits that it wasn't the best movie they could have put out there. Studio interference personified it seems.
Ghostbusters - I'm not a good enough writer to equate the amount of hate I have for this movie. Instead, I'm just going to burn things!
Tom’s Picks
Grimsby - Sacha Baron Cohen is a funny guy, and has been responsible for some pretty funny creations down the years. Football yob Nobby Butcher is not one of them, and the movie that is wrapped around this one note character tripping into the world of espionage is hands down the worst movie he has ever headlined. Crammed to the gills with disgusting ‘humour’ instead of an actual plot, it’s biggest crime is wasting the always fantastic Mark Strong, who is probably already considering the scene where he is rammed in the face by an elephant as the low point of his career.
The Do-Over - The second of Adam Sandler’s four Netflix exclusive movies, and the actor already finds himself on my worst of the year list two years running. Teaming up once again with David Spade, this movie features everything we’ve come to hate about Sandler: tired jokes that run the gamut from racist to homophobic, a plot with no rhyme and reason, and that ever growing feeling that he just made the movie to go on vacation to a sunny location.
Gods of Egypt - Alex Proyas’ fall from grace is one that hurts me personally, having grown up on The Crow and Dark City, two moves I consider masterpieces. Gods of Egypt is anything but, an over stuffed, candy coated CGI monstrosity that makes no secret of what an incoherent, hollow mess it is from the opening frame.
Ben-Hur - Why? That’s all I ask. Why?
Bad Santa 2 - Just another example of why belated sequels are a bad idea. Bad Santa was a great movie thirteen years ago, but just trying to rehash the exact same plot and adding extra scenes of outdoor sex in an attempt to appear ‘edgy’ was never going to cut it.
Martin’s Picks
Collateral Beauty – Cloying, overly earnest muck that tries and fails to say something profound about grief. This ill-conceived, high-concept dramedy is rife with clumsy editing, poor turns from a usually reliable cast and a condescending script packed full of narrative missteps.
The Magnificent Seven – With Chris Pratt, Denzel Washington and cast of choice talent on board, this had some serious potential. Unfortunately, Antoine Fuqua turned the Western classic into a big dumb action movie without all the big dumb fun that sort of thing requires.
Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice – So terrible on so many levels. Affleck was actually quite good as the Caped Crusader but this was overall such a bitterly disappointing return after Nolan’s trilogy. Overlong, messy and downright bizarre.
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back – The first Jack Reacher was a surprisingly fun action thriller where Tom Cruise used a man’s head to bash in another man’s head. This one wasn’t.
31 – I love Rob Zombie’s music and find his movies a bit of a guilty pleasure, so I made every effort to enjoy this. 31, however, is just a big, heaving, sluggish mass of everything we’ve seen in Zombie’s previous work, executed terribly. Pretty much unwatchable, bar some nice n’ gory practical effects.
