It's Halloween, a night where it's almost mandatory to sit down and watch horror movies with a large bowl of candy/alcohol (delete where applicable) within reach. But this got me thinking: just how dumb are the "heroes" in horror movies? It seems you have to be devoid of a few brain cells if you are going up against a crazed killer, either supernatural or not. So below I have come up with a few of the dumb decisions made in horror movies, as well as calling out the biggest offenders.
READING OUT LOUD AN ANCIENT CANTATION
I have a rule, I don't read anything out loud I can't pronounce. You never know what will happen. This rule should be adopted in horror movies too, because it always seems to be an ancient cantation or spell that brings forth a supernatural menace.
Biggest offender: Evil Dead (2013). It's a book, wrapped in plastic and barbed wire. Bound in human flesh, inked in human blood, and you still want to read from it, even when it tells you to leave it alone. Really!?
INVESTIGATING A STRANGE NOISE
O.K., so there is an unstoppable killer stalking you, you know an unstoppable killer is stalking you, but you still go to investigate a strange noise. Maybe you deserve to be gutted like a fish.
Biggest offender: The Blair Witch Project (1999). It's pretty much an entire movie about investigating strange noises in the middle of the night.
GOING INTO THE CREEPY HOUSE
The horror genre is pretty much built on creepy buildings, be they old mansions steep in tragic history or old asylums which housed numerous crazed individuals. If any of the characters displayed common sense and didn't go in, the entire genre would probably fall apart.
Biggest offender: Thirteen Ghosts (2001). So you inherit a house from your uncle, who was a ghost collector, that is entirely made of glass? Just walk away.
I've watched enough horror movies to know if a toy looks like it is going to come to life and kill, it probably will. It's common sense really.
Biggest offender: Child's Play (1988). I really wanted to put The Conjuring here, but no, I don't care if the 'Good Guy' doll was what the kid really wanted, look at it!! It is creepy enough, with out being possessed by a psychopath. Just no.
NOT LISTENING TO THE WARNINGS
If someone told you that doing something would bring about your certain death, it is probably best to listen to them. I don't care if they are wearing a hat made of tinfoil.
Biggest offender: Ringu (1998). A video tape that has killed countless others a week after they watched it? Why yes, lets all watch it!
