Not since Jeff Goldblum brought down an entire mothership with an Apple Powerbook, have I witnessed such an amazing usage of technology. Actually, what Selina Gomez manages to do with an iPad could well be some of the greatest cyber shenanigans ever recorded on film. From hacking servers and looping hidden camera video feeds with nothing but a few finger swipes it really is mind blowing……of course that is, if you are an idiot.
Starring the aforementioned, tech talented Selina Gomez and Ethan Hawke, Getaway follows the story of a former race car driver who has to jump through some driving hoops after his wife is kidnapped by a stereo typical bad guy (Jon Voight). With cameras all over the absolutely gorgeous Shelby GT500 Super Snake, and a ticking clock, the pressure is on for our heroes to survive, rescue the wife, rescue Selena Gomez and basically waste 90 minutes of your life.
Getaway is an exercise in editing. A phenomenal exercise in editing at that. Much of the movie revolves around car chases (as our heroes can’t really leave their car, due to bad guy instructions) and using the “cheap car cams” that our bad guy installed, as well as the normal movie cameras, the audience is taken on an absolute visual assault. And not of the good kind either. With one exception (at the end), all the set pieces are edited and cut to within an inch of their life. What results is the scene changes nearly every second (I actually got bored and started timing them, I shit you not) and while that might be fine for a trance video, it makes the movie completely unwatchable and nauseating. Things move at such a pace that the continuity fell out the back door too, and cars just seem to fall out of the sky in places, and the whole thing looks like a jumble of scenes cut to shreds to disguise the calamity.Due to this sporadic and rapid fire editing, the car chases never once feel exciting or tense and you’d get a better sensation of speed by strapping yourself onto a tortoise.
Getaway is a movie that will leave you wondering and pondering quite alot. For the first half hour you’ll be wondering where the hell is the movie set? Who the hell is Ethan Hawke’s character? And at the very end of that first half hour, you’ll wonder why they hell is Selina Gomez in this movie? It’s not until another 30 minutes whizzes by in a tour de force of blinding editing, that you realise the movie is set in Sofia, Bulgaria and a few other realisations will also hit you then. Like the first half hour, you’ll be asking why the hell is Selina Gomez in this movie? How the hell did Ethan Hawke (a damn fine actor normally) get signed onto this and ultimately you’ll wonder, why the hell did you part with your hard earned cash!
I’m sure Selina Gomez is a lovely young lady, but her acting capability, at least on show here, can be rated between non-existent and imaginary. Not once does she convince the audience that she’s in serious danger and not once does she convince that she’s an “actress”. On the other hand, Ethan Hawke, looks about as pissed off as the editor of the movie and dials in a performance that is just about watchable. And then we have Jon Voight, while shrouded in mystery (we rarely see him) attempts an a bad guy accent that's somewhere in between Werner Herzog and a cheesy 1970s porno plumber.
With it’s rapid fire, brain shredding editing, lacklustre performances as well as being completely unbelievable, Getaway is devoid of anything resembling entertainment. This best thing you can do with this movie, is get away…..or strap yourself to a tortoise.
