A critically acclaimed screen actor reads The Night Before Christmas incorporating JJ Abrams, James Franco, Seth Rogen and J-Law. Click play on either the soundcloud version or the youtube version (with bonus Christmas snow)
Happy Christmas from all of us at The Movie Bit. Thanks for dropping by throughout the year. We’re on a go-slow over the next few days as we fill ourselves with stuffed poultry, alcoholic beverages and copious amounts of bad Christmas TV
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
J-Law was thinking about unbuttoning her blouse
Her camera was placed near the chimney with care
In hopes, that another hack wouldn’t leak her derry aire
The Star Wars crew were nestled all snug in their beds
While lightsabers and set leaks danced in their heads
With JJ screaming no more leaks if you please
Otherwise we’re going to have nothing left to tease
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The crew jumped up to to see what was the matter
The ran to the window and looked out to see
A bunch of dirty hacks from TMZ
A space station sized moon lit up the sky
As the hacks glowed green, they started to cry
When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
With two naked drivers, so lively and quick
It was Rogen and Franco and yes there was dick
The night went quiet and they started to shout
Fuck you North Korea, our movie’s coming out
Go see it tomorrow and have some fun
And that goes for you too, Kim Jong Un
So up to the housetop the stoners they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. dickolas too—
The star wars crew then heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As they drew in their head, and were turning around,
Down the chimney St. Dickolas came with a bound.
Rogen was hairy, from his head to his foot
While Franco’s ass crack was tarnished with soot
A bundle of toys hung from their back
And they looked liked pedlers, opening their packs
Their eyes, they twinkled, their pimples so scary
And Rogen’s back was incredibly hairy
They took out a pipe and looked at the time
It’s medicinal they swore, this ain’t no crime
Break time over, they got down to work
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk
It was J-Law, half naked and almost undressed
And Franco proclaimed this night is the best
She asked for assistance in taking a shot
But our Christmas duo, said they could not
Delivering presents was their job tonight
And once again it was time to take flight
Up the chimney they went in a great puff of smoke
Snoop Dogg would love this shit, the pair of them joked
Onboard their sleigh, they flew out of sight
Shouting Happy Christmas to all, North Korea you’re alright
