I sat through a fast forwarded version of the Oscars for my wife on Monday night, and I’ve been thinking…well trying to anyway. So, with that in mind, here’s 5 things that would have improved this years Oscars!
5 – Instead of showing nominees looking awkward while waiting to see who’s won, use their passport photos, driving licence photos or mugshots
4 – Run a text poll to determine who will fall up the stage steps next. Subsequently, get actors NOT invited to the ceremony and get them to masquerade as EMTs who run out to another fallen award winner.
3 – Have a beard cam. A close up camera of the various beards showcasing bits of food, saliva and birds nests.
2 – For any time travelling sketch, utilise the greatest time traveller that ever lived! Marty Mc fuckin’ Fly!!!!
1 – Cut off Set MacFarlane’s hands. His sasquatch like clapping proved that he may well be related to Harry from The Henderson family.
